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ESFP/INFJ Compatibility

Updated: Jul 28, 2021

In this article we will be analysing the relationship between the entertainer (ESFP) and advocate (INFJ) personality, more specifically, the relationship between Aila and I. It’s no secret that siblings argue and butt heads sometimes, however by being aware of personality differences, you may be able to avoid certain patterns in conflicts. Next we will be covering an overview on both personalities, strengths in the relationship, and weaknesses in our relationship.

The two personalities we are comparing is the Entertainer (ESFP) and the Advocate (INFJ). The Entertainer is extremely outgoing and loves being the center of attention. This causes them to have a knack for showmanship. The flip side of this is that they may not be very good at analysing things and repetitive tasks. They have a very wide social circle and love socializing with all kinds of people. The Advocate is a much more reserved personality type and enjoys using their strengths of creativity and idealism in solitude. They derive their sense of purpose from helping people, but are very perfectionistic in many things including friendships. This makes them very different from entertainers and may have many acquaintances, but few who they would call real friends.

There are many strengths of an Entertainer/Advocate relationship. One of which is the S (Sensing) and N (Intuitive) which means detail oriented and big picture oriented. This is a strength because you notice different things when talking about the same topic which can help you find insights. Also since we both share the F (Feeling) trait we both are conscientious about what we say and do affects the other person's emotions which can help us avoid conflicts. The difference between introversion and extroversion can also be a strength since there is a natural atmosphere in conversations that allows both of us to communicate in the way we prefer. So Aila can keep the conversation going effortlessly and I can jump in with comments without feeling pressured to find conversation leads.

Some weaknesses is that conflict may arise in the difference between P (Perceiving/Flexible) and J (Judging/Planner). Aila is very freeflow whereas I am more of a planner. This causes some conflict when I show up early for meetings and Aila would rather come 30 seconds before. This is especially challenging when I am trying to get into the mindset of the meeting when Aila would rather bounce on the couch. Another potential issue is the flipside on the S (Sensing/Detail Oriented) and N (Intuitive/Big Picture Oriented). Since we see things differently, it might be frustrating to have a productive conversation. I may be trying to talk about the overall implications of something whereas Aila may be more focused on a certain detail that I find unimportant.

We would definitely recommend comparing personalities with friends, family, but especially siblings since it can have tremendous positive impacts on your relationship. While we did mention some weaknesses, these don’t have to have very big impacts on your relationship if you offset them with awareness of your differences. Aila and I are extremely different, but we try our best to be aware of that, and also try to give each other room to fail. Once you go through this exercise, think about how you can leverage the strengths of your relationship and how you can mitigate the weaknesses. To see what personality you are, go to


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